Top 5 Favourite Ladies’ Parts
![[Here be tempestuous waters.]](../images/kanagawa.jpg)
1. Feet. I prefer them thin and vainy, on tiptoes, with high arches and the turnout characteristic of at least ten years of rigorous ballet training or the torturing exercise regime of a Chinese circus academy. Call me a romantic.
2. Clavicles. Best when defined and bony, forming cups between the shoulders and the neck, in which assorted liquids may accumulate. I was thinking warm summer rain, you perv.
3. Lower back. I find myself in great reverence of a lady who stands so that the curve of her posterior forms a shelf onto which small objects (keys, coins, bits of paper, a Muji card case) may be deposited temporarily. Collateral effects (arched torso, proffered sternum, tautened calves, oh my) do not go unnoticed.
4. Nipples. Pierced, erect, puffy, conical, pink, brown, whatever. As long as they are prominently displayed. Stupid padded bras. And “invisible” bra straps are really not invisible, you know.
5. Large tattoo reproductions of Katsushika Hokusai’s “The Great Wave off Kanagawa.” I’m not really that fussy. Any maritime-themed work of an Edo period ukiyo-e master will do.
[The above text was composed for issue two of Lynton’s magazine, Swaydo. For this, accuracy and truthfulness have been sacrificed on the altar of comedic effect. That, and we had to use that cool photo of Nina and me.]
Comments
nice tattoo…beats all usual “girly” themes like birds , flowers, small animals every time!
As for the nipples : they work like headlights. If we do not see them , we lose the way !
..you’re scary.. :P
Uuuukiiiiiiyooooooeeeeeeeeee..!!!
Crazy Men!
I was thinking warm summer rain, you perv.
So I’m guessing this was what you referred to when you said “…truthfulness have been sacrificed on the altar of comedic effect” huh? Kekekeke!
I’ve noticed a universally negative response from female commenters, to an entry I considered to be full of love. Lest I give the impression that I am just hatin’ on ladies who do not match my impossibly high standards (as these may be devined by the top 5), let me underline, circle, bolden, and hyper-emphasise the key phrase: “I’m not really that fussy.” Also, despite the article’s bias on parts, I tend to prefer ladies that are whole.
To illustrate how non-fussy I am, I would be happy in the company of any of the ten women listed here.
so.. that means any girl that goes to university and has about the right composition of facial (or body) features will work fine for u.. and it would be a bonus if they went into modeling.. hmm.. so girls, next time oz tells you to try out for modeling, GET THE HINT!!
as I have stumbled upon your blog - you are no less than 111% accurate in your appraisal and assessment of what ‘Ladies Parts’ bring that much more meaning into my daily existence….the picture of your astoundingly attractive friend and her impressive tattoo are nothing less than perfection as well! As we say in my neck of the woods…”kick-ass!!”